GOODBYE, OLD FRIEND
It’s been a good run.
I remember the night we first met so many years ago in high school. My friend introduced us and, after he passed out, we stayed up all night getting to know each other. We hit it off instantly and, after really connecting in college, we’ve been inseparable.
But it’s time to say goodbye.
I will always cherish the good times we had – all the laughs, so many great nights. You made me feel invincible – you made me feel worthy. You made me feel like I fit in. And I desperately needed that when I was younger.
The problem is that you still want me to need you – and I can’t need you anymore.
The hardest thing I’ve had to do in my life, believe it or not, is accept the fact that I have to grow up. And breaking up with you is imperative for me to move forward. For so many years, you’ve comforted me as I let life pass me by without a care in the world about what I leave in the wake of our relationship. Be it my career, my dreams, or people who love me. None of that matters when we’re together.
And you have to admit that it’s not what it used to be between us. After so many years, dancing and laughing all night has devolved into dangerous behavior unbecoming of an adult my age, anxiety, and regret. A whole lot of regret. I used to feel that throwing caution to the wind and letting you get rid of all my cares was being free. Now I see that I’ve been anything but.
See, you made me think I was nothing without you and now my eyes are open – and I can’t pretend things can go back to the way they were. They never will. The decline, the bad things, will continue and they will get worse and worse – because, the truth is, you are killing me.
But, oh did we have some good times. And I will miss those, but I look forward to learning how to have fun without you – and I know that will take time, but I will get there.
And I know you’ll still be around. We’ll run into each other often (since you pretty much hang out with everyone I know) – and I hope that we can still be friends with some of the same people. If not, that’s ok, too. Growth is hard – and with it comes inevitable change.
So, goodbye, old friend. I don’t need you anymore and, more importantly, I’ve finally realized that I never did.